Hit

Hit jokes

Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

Why are orphans not that good at baseball?

They can never hit a homerun.

Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?

Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.

The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"

The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!