Impact jokes

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?

The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!

What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?

Its butt.