Hit jokes

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.

When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?

When a plane hits it.

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?

A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.