If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
I met a baseball player , so I told him to make a home run , and he just looked at me with sadness I don't know why
By the way he was an orphan
Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?
A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
