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What’s the difference between a paycheck and your p....? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…

what does a blondie and a shotgun have in common? give them a cock and there ready to blow.

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

People with down syndrome have a specific skill only they have, they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

Muslims love to exaggerate, that’s why they always blow things up.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. “Oh this handles so well !” they exclaimed. Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear ended them. Passenger said to his partner. " You tell that man he’s gonna pay every single cent cuz we’re going to sue him !" So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said “What do you want wimp? " The gay said ,” You just hit our new Pink Porsche and we’re gonna make you pay every single cent cuz we’re gonna sue you!" The trucker said " Oh yeah ? Blow me ! " Gay driver went " Ohhh!" And ran back. Gay partner asked him " What did he say ?" His fruitcake driver said " Ohhh! Its wonderful, he wants to settle out of court !"

I like women how I like my hair dryer, locked in a closet most of the time, and only being used to blow me dry

Me and my friends were talking. Then we got to talk about our wives. I said “So I married a valcono for a wife. You never know when she will blow up”

How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

I don’t know I close my eyes when I masterbate…

I call my girlfriend .05 because she’s a bag I blow into when I’ve had a few drinks.

Some goes into a bar and asks for a blow job the barman goes me too but then the guy goes I meant the drink

What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus .burnt himself on the exzorst pipe

He huffed and he puffed but istead or blowing the house, he chocked it down with his mom

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country how many heads will you blow off? That number is how many dicks you suck

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

A guy walks into a mosque … then blows up.

You blow a kiss up your eyes your eyes where bright up your ass.