Hit jokes
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!