Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.

Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna

“I’d hit that”

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can´t Run

When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

Why did i walk across the road?

to get hit by a car

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

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