Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can´t Run

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna

“I’d hit that”

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates.

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

Why did i walk across the road?

to get hit by a car

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon

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