Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson Jokes

What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?

A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.

What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?

R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.

Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odour and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygenic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made Billie Jean or Beat It, and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."