Health jokes
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
This person has Down syndrome.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.