What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Health Jokes
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
