Health jokes
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Memes
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.