There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween? - nothing

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party : He had nobody to go with

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as her self for halloween

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? - Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

How do you know a vampire’s sick?

If he’s coffin (coughing?)

Well tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey

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