Halloween jokes
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
How do you know a vampire's sick? If he's coffin (coughing?)
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
Tis the season to be spooky.
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.