Health

Health jokes

Health memes

Vegetable

    • This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

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    • Wife

    • My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

    "She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

    "Why?" I asked.

    My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

    Anorexia

    • I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

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    • Doctor

    • Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

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    • Fetus

    • My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

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    • Calculator

    • Do this on a calculator.

    There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.

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    • Pancake

    • Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

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