Health jokes
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
Memes
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"