Health jokes
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.