Health jokes
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Memes
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”