A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
Health Jokes
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
