Health jokes
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
it all makes sense now 😮😮😮
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.