Health jokes
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
I feel bad for the doc now✌️💀
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
Total gym.