Health jokes

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reali-tea.

What did the chef say to the skeleton?

"Bone appetit!"

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

What is the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

A man walks into a bar... Oww!

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh

What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheel.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?

TIMMAHHHH!

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.