Puns

Monarchia

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Puns

Anonymous

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

Puns

A random skeleton

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Girl

Whoozy Guy87

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl’s house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

Politics

Anonymous

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. – That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

Orange

Anonymous

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

Time

Daniel King

What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?

A popsinger.

Hearing

Can Crusher

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing

Animal

12345678910

What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi

Puns

PIKACHU

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can? Good thing it was a “Soft” drink

Dad

Anonymous

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

Sadness

:)

Q: What do you call a sad soda? A: Soda-pressing.

Puns

Dream bot

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

Drink

Anonymous

I got hit with a can of soda. It doesn’t matter, it was a soft drink

Head

Anonymous

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.

Difference

deviruzh or devirush

Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch !” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "

Screw

Les

How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

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