Health jokes
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Me after hearing
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.