Grandmother Jokes

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words ... through the pillow.

Frank: I am named frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years. Finley: I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties! Mia: Can we please change the subject?

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "this lemonade tastes like bleach..."

This is the Real Reason why the Chicken Crossed the Road.

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road

A: To Vist his Grandmother at KFC

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say 'Knock knock,' we’d say 'Who’s there?.' Then she’d say 'I can’t remember'... and start to cry."

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up. The grandmother says: Hey, jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad! Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks jantje to help her stand up. Jantje anwsers: No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad.

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair. .... she likes to rock And roll lol

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

You were sad because your grandmother died. The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead

I'll turn ya nan into to bonemeal