A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
l li
ll l_
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
I hate wearing a mask in public.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Why donāt some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships donāt work out.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Whatās the best way to make sure you donāt get COVID?
Suicide.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Whatās white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
