Health jokes
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
Official orgasm donor.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.