Health jokes
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"