How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick
Slartibartfast
Apparently six out of seven dwarves aren't happy...
How do stars die?
Normally an overdose
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out