Health jokes
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
Keep yourself safe!
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself…
A piece of cake.