Health jokes

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.

A: Do you eat food?

B: Yes...

A: You can sit on deez nuts then!

B: Omg I have depression now.

Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?

Tamlito.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Zachary Disease Joke 🤣🤣🤣

https://youtu.be/xtmB7mZDYAs

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

I'm a recovering cake addict.

I put glue in a man :)

Stroke victims are my heroes.

My favorite is Louis C.K.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”