Health jokes
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
It's snot fair!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.