Health jokes
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Spinach
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Baal jharne ke upay?
Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations