Health jokes
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Zachary Disease Joke 🤣🤣🤣
https://youtu.be/xtmB7mZDYAs
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?