Health jokes

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

A: Do you eat food?

B: Yes...

A: You can sit on deez nuts then!

B: Omg I have depression now.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?

The wheelchair.

You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Zachary Disease Joke 🤣🤣🤣

https://youtu.be/xtmB7mZDYAs

Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.

Stroke victims are my heroes.

My favorite is Louis C.K.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

Spppppp.

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.