Health jokes
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Spppppp.
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.