Health jokes

How can a man make the world safer?

By having the chop.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?

A sniff beat.

Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

Zachary Disease Joke 🤣🤣🤣

https://youtu.be/xtmB7mZDYAs

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

What constellation has no hair at all?

Cancer.

Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"

Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.

You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.