Health jokes

Stroke victims are my heroes.

My favorite is Louis C.K.

Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!

If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?

You Fallout.

Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?

A sniff beat.

What did buttholes say after taking a dump?

Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."