Health jokes
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Spppppp.
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
I put glue in a man :)
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.