Gum jokes
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
What hurts the most? 馃樄
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
I鈥檓 gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I鈥檓 all out of ass.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken鈥檚 foot.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
Swallow cum, not gum.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."