Gum Jokes

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

What's the best way to remove gum from hair?

Cancer.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?

Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

What do gum and guns have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train!

What hurts the most? 😹

A. Breaking up before chewing.

B. Breaking up after chewing.

If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.

My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?