Gum Jokes

tanner brians

what do you call a train with buble gum?

a chew chew train

oh man im depressed

random person

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Madam: What is in your trousers that I don’t have?

Boy: Pockets.

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Madam: What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal’s eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

Boy: Bubble gum.

Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent.

The principal was looking restless

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: O MY GOD.

Madam: What starts with ‘F’ and ends wit a ‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you’ve to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Madam: What is it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Ohooo !

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, “Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!”

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny!” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”

in School

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”


Whats the best way to remove gum from hair?


in Offensive

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?


in Kidnapping

What dose a peice of gum and a gun have in common

You pull one out everyone wants to be your friend

in Little Johnny

when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.

in Roast

Roses are red violets are blue gum makes me

beautiful but what happened to you?

in Puns

What does the difference between your new teacher and a train? Your teacher says spit out your gum but a train says Choo Choo!

Layla grimm

What do you call a train fall of gum. A chew chew train


What goes in hard but comes out soft


in Shooting

what do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common. ones the pull it out everyone wants to be there friend.


How do you get chewing gum out of a child’s hair? Cancer.


How do you get gum out of your hair?



What is the best way to get chewing gum out of you hair Cancer

Pro joker

How do you get gum out of your hair? Cancer

in Koala

Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree


what’s the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? cancer


did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck? He got stuck in Orbit! Hehhehe