Gum

Gum Jokes

Train

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

Astronaut

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

School

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

Teacher

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

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  • Teacher

    Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

    Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

    Dick

    What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

    Both get chewed on by little kids.

    Teeth

    When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

    A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

    Shooter

    What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

    One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

    Road

    Why did the gum cross the road?

    It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

    Friend

    What do gum and guns have in common?

    When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.

    Train

    What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

    A chew-chew train!

    Hurt

    What hurts the most? 😹

    A. Breaking up before chewing.

    B. Breaking up after chewing.