Gum jokes
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
Swallow cum, not gum.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!