I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
im not suicidal im just speedrunning life
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I'm color blind
you call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
What do you call the people in the challenger explosion.
Ashtraynauts
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
“Wanna play the rape game?”
“No!!!!”
“That’s the spirit!”
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
We can't go under it... We can't go over it...
We have to go through it!
What does Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ''this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ''What do you ca..'' out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ''Why are you laughing I haven't even finished the joke yet''? The blonde replies '' I just got the first joke''.
Drop me in afghanistan with a dodge challenger super stock, a mexican named jose, a 6 pack of dr.pepper, a golden scar, a pack of chimichangas and a M4A1 and ill have the taliban saying the pledge of allegence in 4 hours.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
hey guys wish me luck on my game AI-Nassr vs RaedAl-Raed. and i have 604 million followers on instagram but we are not gonna be able to beat that but can we get to 69 followers please and thankyou
