Health jokes
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
Why did Mimi cross the road?
She had cancer.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
You've got a body inside you--it's called your body bones.
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.