Health jokes
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
Memes
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Back bent.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
Alles tut weh.