Health jokes
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
no thank u for sleeping
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
You're so skinny that you fall.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣