Health jokes
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
I can't stand disability jokes.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!