What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
Health Jokes
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
