Health jokes
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
My ass itches.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Memes
Hehehe
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!