What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
I love riding my bike 🚲.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
