Health jokes
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
Memes
kayla?
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
Real PokΓ©mon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Why shouldnβt you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!