Health jokes

What do you call a fat downie?

A couch potato.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

Air quality alert code brown!

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

I poo 11 times a day.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

What does a depressed person say when they're happy?

"..."

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

My ass itches.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.