Health jokes
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
I C U P works on 88% of people.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
I poo 11 times a day.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.