Health jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
Memes
no thank u for sleeping
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!