Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
What is mad cow disease?
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
