Health jokes
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.