Health jokes
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
I C U P works on 88% of people.