so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.
Named my dog syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say “get Down syndrome”
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch)
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
I like my couches like my I like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
How do you punish Helen keler just move the couch
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture? The cowch ( couch)
Some moving men had just begun their days work. The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch. The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
Idk why my blind kid is crying. but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}
A: a couch potato HaHaHa
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and to lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven't seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said "Oh no! i forgot the cereal!" then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
Why couldn't the button get off the couch? Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.
