Health jokes
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
Alles tut weh.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
Back bent.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?
"Looks like a rerun."
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.