Health jokes
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
He pimples?
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.