Health jokes
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
...Because there's always a cast!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."