"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Health Jokes
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
