"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
What do you call a bear without a ear?
B
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
Doctor: I'm sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what's this behind your ear? Oh it's still cancer
*Say I'm a man after every sentence* You walk into a bar. (I'm a man) You find a girl . ( I'm a man) You take her home.(I'm a man) She whispers in your ear.(I'm a man)
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? -- A buccaneer.
you
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
I speak for the trees * Trees whisper in my ear* They said six million wasn't enough
Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"
how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
Josh WIlliams
