“I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, ‘You’re next.’ So I started doing the same to them at funerals, ‘You’re next.’”

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? – Their knees.

Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: “so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down” and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I’m just f...in with u she’s DEAD!"

How many ears does Captain Picard have? – Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? – A buccaneer.

What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he’s masturbating? – His ears.

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing

What do you call a bear without a ear?


Why can’t you tell a joke in a corn maze

because theres too many ears

guy: Say “I’m a man” every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I’m a man guy:you meet a girl person: I’m a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel
person: I’m a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I’m a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I’m a man

Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.

What do you call a animal with 3 eyes 2 mouth 6 noses and 4 ears

What do you call a person with one arm one leg one eye and one ear ONESY “Hey dad how do you kill a star?” -give them drugs

i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating

I have 3 eyes 2 ears and 6 mouths, what am I UGLY!


These are ear-retcal jokes…


I have two heads four eyes and six ears,what am I ?


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