“I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, ‘You’re next.’ So I started doing the same to them at funerals, ‘You’re next.’”
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What do you call a bear without a ear?
i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? – A buccaneer.
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
- What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
- What has ears but cannot hear?
- What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids
guy: Say “I’m a man” every time I stop.
guy: you walk into a bar.
person: I’m a man
guy:you meet a girl
person: I’m a man
guy:you and the girl go to a hotel
person: I’m a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I’m a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I’m a man
How many ears does Captain Picard have? – Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
Why doesn’t Hellen Kellers kid have ears? She gave it it’s first hair cut!
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? – Their knees.
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: “so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down” and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I’m just fuckin with u she’s DEAD!"
Why can’t you tell a joke in a corn maze
because theres too many ears
did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he’s dead.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”