Bum jokes
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
My bum hurts.
Willy bum.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
Princess Peach is a BUM!
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Do you know Bumo?
Bumo deez nuts.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Suck your mum's bum.