Bum

Bum Jokes

Prison

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Family

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

Man

Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."

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  • Flower

    You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

    Anus

    What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

    "Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

    I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

    Orphan

    An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"

    Body

    What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?

    Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.