Health jokes
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
))))))))
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.