Health jokes
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
Memes
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!