What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Health Jokes
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
