Health jokes
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
My bum hurts.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
))))))))
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
Why can't orphans smoke?
They don't have parents ._.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.