Health jokes
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Swallow cum, not gum.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Memes
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Americans are fat.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?