Health jokes
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Like if you are scared of Covid-19.