Cancer?
Cancer
Health Jokes
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
I have no legs.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
