I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Health Jokes
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
Baal jharne ke upay?
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
