Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
Health Jokes
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Why are people joking about this stuff?
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
