Location jokes

My family is like a treasure.

You need a map and shovel to find them.

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?

Little kids leave preschool.

Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.

What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.

Did you fall from heaven? Or did you fall from the cliff up there?

Where did the software developer go?

I don’t know, he ransomware!

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"

I answered, "6 feet underground."

Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"

Woman two: "Did that work?"

Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?

Dad: Because she was made there.

Son: Thanks, Dad.

Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.