Ground jokes

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

How do you ground a Gen Z?

Make them go outside and socialize.

We have invented the spade! This is groundbreaking!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded beef.

When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.

What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call plane crash victims?

Down to earth people.

What do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, and Rashida Tlaib all have in common?

All four of them are garbage.

What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?

Ground beef.

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?

The low ground.

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.