Ground jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

"Mine is 3 inches."

"That's not very lo..."

"From the ground."

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?

"Ground beef!"

I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.

Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?

The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded beef.

What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.

This video got me on the ground. 😂

Https://youtu.be/7AdpKigXyyA

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?

Nail one hand to the ground...

How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?

Ground beef.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.