I won’t reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here… Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I’m being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don’t get enough sleep because of it… Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say forgive and forget. They are really obedient.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Your Birth Certificate is an apology from the Condom factory
Your brith certificate is like a apology from the condom factory…
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
“Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!” (Found on the web if you don’t like it don’t leave a hate comment)
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company
If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence
My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships
There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.
I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.
If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.
You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting
Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen
Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya
Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing except at funerals.
Boi you can’t be talking because it someone punched you in the face you will be the one to apologize
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
… I guess her rubber broke too
Ok, so i know most or all of you guys hate me and thats fine. You guys most likey no me as a horrible person which idk where u would hear that from. And finally I am truly a good person u just need to know me better. The only reason I fought tina and jack was because i was trying to be nice to another guy. Then i relised what side i should have been. I’m pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just im sorry and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else i think all are nice people they just stick up for each other and thats what i relised. So if you still hate me its fine ill be leaving this app soon maybe. Hate makes me sad even though i use it but i know what was wrong i want to join the good side so just give a chance. This was watersharky’s Apologies.
I think I found the worst joke in life ,For me it’s that i have always been unwanted and alone for my hole life and I’ve have never even been In a relationship with anyone and I’m 31 years old and I also know that deep down, I’m always going to be alone and unhappy ,all I get out of life, is seeing everyone else with someone ,and knowing it will never happen for me , I think that’s the worst joke I can think of .LIFE. Still living when you know you’ll never find someone to be with I apologize with the wording to this it’s another thing I am a failure at
feel free to comment
Mom: I apologize Sam for being so mean to you <3
Sam: Thank you mother for your apology.