What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
"Hi Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?" " Oh, Johnny you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs." "I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Why can't the orphan run past third base: Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
Why can’t orfans play base ball because they can’t find home.
Whats the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?
Not too sure. I just fly the drone.
Why do orphans not know how to play base ball
because they don't know where home is
I only have a few friends like if you relate
Based on a true story
