Ground Jokes

What is Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground? Oh shit is my name still on the stanley cup?

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl Plane Hit the ground? Oh shit did I leave the stove on at home?

Hey guys im back I was grounded by my grandfather so yea.

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first

The leaf because the emo got caught by the rope

How do you communicate too the dead? Jump up and down on the ground and speak in morse code

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving. I wasn't clean after this.

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

@DreamBlue

Dont you find it ironic that kobye bryant bounced his helicopter of the ground like a basketball

jeffrey dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee black and ground up

yo mama so fat she fell over Nobody laughed but the ground cracked up

what do call a burning orphan in a wheel chair? Hotwheels What hit the ground first the orphan or the apple? The apple the orphan never hit they ground.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

Why did the midgets laugh when they run?

Because there balls dragged along the ground.😅😂🤣

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree which one hits the ground first Apple cuz The Noose stops her

my wife and i went to the bar to get a drink but 2 mins later i see her dead on the ground i guess she couldent see the bottle flying at her face then i laughed and went home.

one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis

short people tend to get angry easily....

cause there so close to the ground there anger dosent despite easily....

Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?