Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity I can’t seem to put it down
What hits the ground first the feather or the emo?
The feather because the emo is hung in the tree
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
