Gravity jokes
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"