What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
