Skydiving jokes
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.