What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
you dont need a parachute to go skydiving you only need a parachute to go skydifing twice
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane? It scares the shit out of her dog.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute? Ground Beef
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
The at three people in a plane it is about to crash there is trump,Obama,nine year old girl, but only 2 para- soots Obama says "oh my I need one I need to protect my family" so he jumps off! Trump says "oh I am the smartest man in the world I must take it" so he jumps off 9 year old- welp I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.