Girlfriend jokes
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
I have a girlfriend.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Hey, who thinks Gwen and Aiden are not dating, and who also thinks this dumb girl named "Zre" is being a dummy? And who thinks Gwen belongs with Prince, aka boyfriend?
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.