Romance jokes

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Like if you wanna have sex.

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."

Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

Your love life.

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?

Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Sex is like math.

Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.